


That's No Felix Richter Of Mine

by BiscuitJams



Category: Dead by Daylight (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Felix and Adam are in love. Ghostface is sorely jealous, Ghostface hates anyone that isn't named Adam, Humor, Impersonation, M/M, Pining, Stalking, Swearing, The one-sided ghostadam is prevalent but purely as a funny thing no angst here fellas, this is funny. read it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27564355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BiscuitJams/pseuds/BiscuitJams
Summary: Ghostface finds himself stuck within bounds of the survivors' campfire unable to leave and fashions the perfect disguise. Everyone is confused when Felix walks back from the woods with a deeper voice, new haircut, and different face. Adam knows exactly what's going on and isn't terribly pleased about it.In other words, Ghostface walks into the survivors' campfire pretending to be Felix.
Relationships: Adam Francis/Danny "Jed Olsen" Johnson | The Ghost Face, Adam Francis/Danny "Jed Olsen" Johnson | The Ghost Face (one-sided), Adam Francis/Felix Richter
Comments: 24
Kudos: 39





	That's No Felix Richter Of Mine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iIovecheese69](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=iIovecheese69).



> hiiii i'm back from uhh (checks watch) 4 months of inactivity. now read my one-sided ghostadam fanfic where ghostface steals one of felix's outfits and walks into the campfire while he's in a trial going "hey guys it's felix." this was written JUST for scott so scott if ur reading this ily. also jed's hair is dyed blond in my hc for him, now Enjoy

Jed didn’t know how it happened, okay.

See, he just wanted to get some shuteye. After finding someplace suitable in one of the Haddonfield houses, he knocked right out, and when he opened his eyes, he was in the woods instead.

Now, this wasn’t an unordinary occurrence. Infrequent, yes, but abnormal? No. The Entity _loooooved_ shifting the realms around all the _time_ , but usually Jed would wake up and find himself staring down the barrel of a speargun or hiding in a barn from one of the chainsaw freaks, not slumped against a tree _just_ out of bounds of the survivors’ campfire.

And under normal circumstances, Jed would have been… delighted! Ecstatic! Finally, a chance to watch them all from the shadows in what was supposed to be the comforts of their home. He would deliberate over their routines, stalk, observe, take as many photos as he pleased, and then when he was ready, he would _strike_ . He would slaughter them all like lamb, and what could they have done to him at _that_ point?

Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The problem was, though, he didn’t have his camera. Or his knife for that matter. So that meant that he wouldn’t be able to collect any memories and that if he _did_ choose to just _waltz on in there,_ he would, essentially, be offering himself up for free grabs to several capable and surely angry men and women that would not hesitate to give him the beatdown of a lifetime.

So yes he was hiding from the survivors. Was that so wrong?

Oh. Oh _great_ . _Felix._

Jed scowled from his spot crouched behind a tree as he watched the little weasel say something to Adam. It really pissed him off that whatever the Hell it was made him laugh so easily. It probably wasn’t even funny. Felix was never funny. He just cried and shivered whenever _he_ was around. Jed could probably tell a better joke than _he_ could. Yeah, he definitely could. Most certainly.

Jed sulked as he watched Adam smile again and take Felix’s hand in his, circling his thumb over its knuckles like it was second nature. God, he couldn’t _stand_ that look in Adam’s eyes. Why didn’t he look at _him_ like that? Like… Felix? Really? Jeff he could get, Jake if he pushed it, maybe even _David_ if he tried hard enough but… _Felix?_ What the Hell was so great about _him?_ Blond, frail, looked like he never got any sleep… He was like Jed except worse in every conceivable way. He couldn’t stand it.

Still feeling rather moody, Jed shifted his focus away from him-but-shittier and Adam to try and find something to distract himself in the other survivors. A good number of them had their backs turned towards him, but he could make out… Ace? Was that it? Yes, Ace, sitting next to the cop. He was in some stupid white hat and pink collared shirt wearing blue jeans, which… to be honest, wasn’t actually the worst of the outfits Jed had had to see in his time here. Ace was actually semi-decent putting aside the fact he was old and weird. Jed would even wager that he was one of the more tolerable survivors. He was less likely to tea-bag him on his last hook, that was for sure. He was Ace… _Riskonti_ . Not _Felix Richter._

His clothes still pissed him off, though. Anyway, he could see that Ace was getting up, laughing about something to the cop and pointing across the campfire at… Adam and Felix. Jed groaned. _Just_ the distraction he needed, indeed… He watched Ace make his way from his spot next to the cop all the way back to the happy little couple and say something to them. Felix’s face lit up and he smiled and said something before reaching for… a medkit? The three men laughed together and Felix stood up, still speaking as he pointed into the woods. Oh, thank _God._ He was leaving. 

Jed watched as Felix started coming to the side of the clearing that he was hiding in. The Hell was he doing? Felix walked past him and into the woods, and while Jed would rather have stayed to be able to finally watch Adam in peace, he couldn’t help but feel compelled to follow. Low to the ground, his steps were quiet as he made his way after him.

After what felt like maybe two minutes, Felix came to a stop at a tree. There wasn’t anything to note about it. Boring and barren and gray just like every other tree in here, but whatever. What was he doing anyway? Jed squinted as Felix opened the medkit and saw that when he did, there was something… brown? What the Hell was that? Felix pulled it out and Jed saw that it was… a coat. _Ugh._ Ace must have asked him to try it on for him or some shit. Jed rolled his eyes before creeping closer when he came to a realization.

Oh _God_ … was he going to _strip?_ Well maybe he wouldn’t get completely nuts-out naked. Just down to his boxers, but even still, Jed was _really_ not feeling like seeing this piece of shit’s scrawny little chest. He shuddered at the thought. Cautiously, he peered back and saw to his dismay that Felix was, indeed, shirtless, and even more to his dismay, his pale little torso actually was… not that pale and little. In fact, it really wasn’t all that bad. His shoulders were fairly broad, and while he wasn’t _toned_ , he wasn’t ribcage-bulging-against-his-skin, either. He actually looked kind of good, and that _really_ annoyed Jed.

He glowered silently as Felix pulled on a white tee shirt that was just a little too tight. It strained against subtle muscles, and holy _shit_ if that wasn't irritating. _Thankfully,_ he put on another shirt over it. Blue, long-sleeved. He left a few buttons at the top undone, though, which was absurdly douchey and only served to piss Jed off even more. And at _last_ he put that hideous brown coat on, and then… oh _God_ , were those _gloves?_ Fuck, as if this shithead didn’t remind him of himself enough already.

And _now_ what was he doing? He was…? Oh, taking off his pants. Of course. Way to make Jed’s terrible day even worse in less than 10 seconds. Jed sunk back into the tree he was pressed against as Felix tugged off those stupid blue trousers for a pair of black pants, and after that came on two brown shoes. Jed hated to admit it, but he didn’t actually look half bad wearing what he was.

What was he…? Jed squinted. Were… were those shades? They were. They were pilot-style orange ones, and he looked fucking stupid as he put them on. Maybe if he had a mustache and a different haircut it would look even _slightly_ good. Christ.

After maybe five minutes of the torture that was watching Felix put on three shirts, two gloves, pants, two shoes, and a pair of shades, he was _finally_ finished. Jed felt like he was about to pass out. How could something be so enraging and mind numbingly boring at the same time? He didn’t get it. Jed reached underneath his mask and rubbed his eyes, not caring about the fact that he was still wearing his own gloves as he did. God. What an insufferable _prick._

“Ah,” Jed heard. He peeked through his fingers to see Felix frowning down at his hands. They were starting to disintegrate with the Entity’s familiar golden glow. “I hope Adam won’t worry too much for me…”

Oh, thank God. He was being taken into a trial. Now Jed wouldn’t need to look at his stupid face for maybe another hour. He watched with glee as Felix evaporated into thin air before his eyes trailed down to the base of the tree.

His clothes were still there. The blue ones he always wore.

Jed stared at them for another few moments before an idea came to him.

… 

“Oh! Felix! You look… _different._ ” Claudette frowned. Jed smiled at her, having taken a seat next to the timid little botanist. She was in a garden of some sort tending to some flowers. Jed had no fucking clue what any of them were, but the ones in her hands were a vibrant shade of purple.

“You sure about that, Claudia?” he asked. “I’m feeling the same as I always am.”

Jed was pretty sure she would have looked a little irritated by the nickname if it weren’t for her looking so taken aback. “Felix, your— your voice! What happened?”

Oh. That’s right. Felix was a pussy. “Oh, yes, I just…,” Jed coughed and then cringed. It sounded much too dry for his liking. “I caught a cold is all. Messed with my voice, you know how… sinuses are. This has happened before, nothing to get nervous over.”

Claudette furrowed her brows. “You can catch colds here?”

Fuck. “Well, I caught one, so I guess you can.”

She placed one of her hands to his forehead. “Are you sure you’ll be ok?” she asked, voice full of worry. Jed would have found her concern endearing if it weren’t for the fact he didn’t want her to touch him. “I can get you some tea if you want. That might soothe it.”

“No it’s—” They had _tea?_ “It’s fine. Where’s Adam, actually? I just wanna— _want to_ get back to him.”

“Oh! Well, Adam’s over by the campfire, of course! Right where you left him!” Claudette paused before nudging him with a wink. “You should ask him out already, Felix! Everyone’s rooting for you two, you know!”

Ugh. “Oh, I will, don’t worry.” Jed replied, trying not to look violent as he grinned back.

“Yes! I was right, Feng owes me now!” Claudette cheered. “I _knew_ you two liked each other! But, um… I think you shouldn’t kiss him or anything right now. Just wait until you’re not sick anymore, maybe? I don’t want Adam to have to deal with this either… Being sick is such a hassle.”

Felix didn’t tell the others already…? Well, Claudette was _right._ Felix was _insurmountably_ obvious about his little crush, it was fucking ridiculous. The amount of times he had taken hits on Adam’s behalf… The second that man was on a hook, Felix would come _running_ to save and heal him. Made for good bait, if not at Adam’s unfortunate expense. “Yes, yes, of course. One cold is enough, we don’t need Adam getting one, either.”

Claudette smiled. Jed thought absently that it wasn’t a terrible smile. “I’m glad you get it, Felix! I wish we could talk more, we don’t get enough chances to.”

“Mhm. It would be quite nice,” Jed replied, torn between not giving enough of a shit to mind his manners and giving enough of a shit to not want to be rude to her. Even _he_ had to admit she didn’t really deserve it. “Well, I’ll talk to you again soon, Claudia. Thank you for the help.”

“Anytime,” she said, smiling _again_ for some reason. Maybe if he called her Claudia enough times it would make her mad and she’d start disliking Felix. Her eyes lit up. “Oh! And I like what you did with your hair!”

Jed blinked before he raked a hand through his hair and forced a smile back. “Thanks. I’ll see you later.”

Not even two steps into walking into the campfire and one of the survivors was already on him. He felt someone clap him on the shoulder and turned around feeling rather deranged to see Nea looking at him skeptically. “Felix,” she started. “is your cologne different?”

“Oh. Yes, I’m—”

“Holy shit, your voice!” Meg exclaimed from behind her. “Did you hit puberty? Like— the sequel?”

Fucking Meg. “No, it’s just a cold. I’m very sick.”

“Yeah, _clearly,_ ” Nea snorted. “And the cologne?”

“New. Trying something different.”

“Switch back to your old one. This one smells like shit.

This _bitch._ Feeling more than a little offended, Jed scowled at her. “I think it smells just fine.”

Meg eyed him and pursed her lips after taking a subtle sniff. “Hmm. Don’t know about that. Actually… I think this smells kind of familiar,” she frowned. “Kind of like Ghostf—”

Jed’s mouth went dry and he cut her off immediately. “I’ve been fucking Ghostface, okay?” he blurted. “Is that good enough for you?”

The girls gawked at him. Then Feng frowned. “... _Ghostface?_ Can’t you do better than that?”

Wh— better than that?” “What do you mean _better than that?_ ” he snapped, feeling rather defensive.

“Like Jeff. Or Dwight!”

Nea looked at Meg incredulously. “Dwight isn’t _better._ ”

“I mean, to be fair, anyone’s better than Ghostface,” Feng shrugged. Next match Jed had with this harlot, she was getting tunneled into the fucking dirt. “but honestly, I was thinking… I don’t know, maybe…,” She looked at him, sly. “Adam?”

Jed stared back blankly. “... About Adam,” he began slowly. “Where is he?”

“Oh. He’s over at that side!” Meg chimed, pointing across the clearing. “He’s been waiting for you, actually. Said you went off into the woods.”

“I did. Thanks.” Jed replied before turning and walking away.

Behind him, he could hear Feng boasting. “I _knew_ it! Claude was wrong! Should I get her to make cookies for me?” He rolled his eyes before noticing that someone was watching him. He saw that one of the more stylish women, Zarina if he was remembering correctly, was glaring at him. He smiled wryly at her before shifting his focus back on Adam.

See, Jed didn’t actually go into the survivors’ territory just for shits and giggles. It was to see Adam, and not just because he wanted to talk to him, which, yes, he did, but also because he was the only one out of everyone here who had seen his face. Jed grimaced, remembering the reason why this was, and the reality of his and Adam’s _actual_ relationship was starting to get to him as he drew closer.

_“My dear, dear Adam Francis,” he chuckled, placing a gloved hand upon his cheek. “I’m glad we finally have the chance to be alone.”_

_“I don’t mean to interrupt, but the other survivors speculate about this happening sometimes,” Adam replied, voice straining and hoarse. “and usually the killer will spare the survivor in these scenarios rather than put a hook through their shoulder.”_

_“Oh, don’t be such a priss,” Jed snorted, rolling his eyes from under the mask. “Beggars can’t be choosers. Just take what you will.”_

_“Why are you even speaking to me?” Adam asked tiredly. “And can you remove your hand? It’s making me uncomfortable.”_

_“You’re special to me, Adam,” Jed simpered, ignoring his request and instead taking a gentle hold of his chin. “and I think I should reward you for that.”_

_“R… reward me?” he stammered, looking scared now. “I— I don’t understand.”_

_… Jesus, were the survivors’ opinions of him that bad? The Hell did they say about him when he wasn’t around? He was kind of awful, sure, but he wasn’t that awful. “Sheesh, relax, Adam. I’m not that much of a creep,” Jed frowned. “No, none of whatever it is that you’re thinking. Just… this.”_

_“Just wh…,” Adam trailed off as Jed pulled the mask down before looking up at him, eyes gazing into his. He stared in silence, at a loss for words._

_“Well?” Jed smiled, expectant._

_Adam killed himself on his first hook._

Christ. He wasn’t _that_ ugly, was he?

Jed shuddered. That was a moment for the fucking _textbooks_ . He thanked the Entity that they were alone when that happened, because if he wasn’t, he would undoubtedly _never_ live that down. The survivors wouldn’t even run from him anymore at that point. They’d probably just point and laugh, and no amount of torture and pain and stabbing would be able to compensate and bring back his dignity. Jed dragged his eyes up from where they’d been glued to the ground to see that Adam was only a few feet in front of him, nose deep into a journal. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw that. It was cute.

Adam looked up and his face brightened. “Ah! Felix, you’re—” He did a double take and then frowned.

Jed smiled awkwardly. “... Surprise?”

“Felix!” Adam suddenly exclaimed again. “Here, come with me. Let’s go into the forest.”

“... Uh. Alright.”

When they were far enough to be out of earshot, Adam swiveled to him. “Ghostface!” he hissed. “Why are you _here?_ ”

“My name is _Jed_. Call me by it. And, well, if I’m gonna be honest with you…,” He rubbed his neck sheepishly. “I don’t know either.”

“What? I— _what?_ ” Adam asked, exasperated. “That doesn’t— alright. And— and why are you wearing Felix’s clothes?” A horrified look came onto his face. “You— you didn’t _kill Felix_ , did you—?”

“No, _Adam,_ I didn’t _kill Felix,_ ” Jed groaned. “Look, it’s… it’s complicated, but I can assure you, I didn’t lay a single _finger_ on him. He’s fine. Or at least as fine as someone that’s in a trial can be.”

“He’s in a trial?” Adam asked, looking both terribly worried and just short of relieved.

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Jed frowned. “Besides, I don’t even have a knife to kill anyone with.”

“You don’t have a… did you _lose_ it?”

“No, I didn’t lose it!” Jed snapped. “I’m not an idiot like your _Felix_ is. I just… I went to sleep, and when I woke back up, it was gone, and I was inside of your little _safe haven_ unable to get _out._ ”

“Gh— Jed, don’t _say_ that about him!” Adam scolded before his face changed. “And that’s… perplexing. That’s never happened before.”

“Oh yeah, really? Never would’ve guessed.” 

“Did the forest change again? It must have, right? Where were you before this?” Adam asked, ignoring his sarcasm. Jed rubbed his face.

“Hiding in Haddonfield in one of the houses. I didn’t want a knife through my gut, but my options weren’t exactly _plentiful,_ ” he groused. “and yes, the forest changed. How else would I be here?”

“Well, you don’t have to be so rude…”

“You aren’t exactly being hospitable yourself.” Jed retorted. Adam arched a brow.

“Don’t you think I have a _reason_ for that?”

“Ugh, just— help me out here!”

“What?” Adam frowned. “Why me?”

“Because you’re the only one here that’s seen my face!” Jed yelled. “And if any of the others wise up and realize that no, Felix did _not_ catch a cold and yes, he’s one of the four survivors that got taken into a trial just now, they’re going to realize that _something_ is _up!_ ”

“Well, if the others know, don’t you think they would be willing to help?” Adam countered. “I’m sure they would like you out of here just as much as you would like to leave.”

“Adam. Honey. Sweetheart. Whatever the Hell,” Jed laughed. He grabbed him by the shoulders and stared him dead in the eyes. “I’m a _killer_ , Adam. I’ve _killed_ all these people before and will _keep_ killing all these people, and quite frankly, I’ve been a bit of an asshole throughout all of it. If they realize I’m here with not a single way to fight back, I sincerely doubt I’ll be treated _that_ kindly.”

Adam pursed his lips.

“Have you _seen_ David?” he pleaded, getting desperate. “Or Laurie? Or Yui? Or _Kate!_ ” Jed shuddered. “God, _Kate._ If any one of them find out it’s me, they’re going to make sure I don’t leave with all my bones intact, and Adam? I _like_ having my bones intact.”

“... You would deserve it, though.” Adam chuckled lightly.

“I know I do!” Jed barked. “I don’t care! I don’t want to have to bring a cane to every trial!”

Adam raised a brow at him again. Then Jed saw him getting hit with the realization. “Wait— you said you caught a _cold?_ ”

“Yes…,” Jed sighed. “They asked about my voice.”

“And— and that _worked?_ How did you not get caught?” Adam asked, in complete disbelief. “Not even by Zarina? What about Jake?”

“No, not by anyone, otherwise I wouldn’t even be _talking_ to you right now!” Jed snapped. “Now help me figure out what to do!”

Adam sighed. “Alright. I will.”

Jed’s shoulders sagged with relief. He was right to come to him. Maybe he would get out of here soon after all.

…

Five minutes later and they had nothing.

“You don’t think the Entity will take notice?” Adam frowned. “It would have to eventually. Aren’t you one of its favorites?”

“God, I _wish_ I was. Then that bitch upstairs wouldn’t be up my ass all the time. No, I’m not one of her favorites. Believe it or not, its spider legs blocking generators when I pick a person up doesn’t actually mean much for our _professional relationship._ ”

“Well, I’m sorry to have assumed,” Adam said, seeming a little offended. Then confused. “and the Entity is a woman?”

“It’s a malignant arachnid god that trapped you all in its personal hellscape,” Jed said back, staring at him. “Why does it matter if it’s a woman? And if you aren’t gonna move on from this, yes, it is, but who _cares?_ It’s not like knowing that is going to get me out of here any faster.

“I apologize for asking… I was curious,” Adam murmured, miffed. “and you didn’t answer my question. You don’t think it will notice?”

“There’s twenty one of us, I _doubt_ it gives enough of a shit to notice one going off the grid _that_ fast…,” he sighed. “Like— imagine it from your own point of view. If you don’t get, say, the Demogorgon for several trials, do you even take notice?”

“I suppose not…,” Adam pondered. He glanced back at the direction of the campfire then back to Jed, looking a little reluctant about what he was going to say next. “Listen, I know this may not be a very good idea, but don’t you think we should go back soon? It’s been a while, and the others might start getting concerned.”

“... Ugh. I guess so,” Jed rubbed his face another time. “Just— if anyone asks questions, get them to leave me be. I don’t want to put up with all of them right now.”

“Why did you even take Felix’s clothes?” Adam frowned. “You could have just waited in the woods like you did with Felix until I went into them alone. If I noticed him missing for such a long time, I would have eventually, and then you could have asked me for my help then. We wouldn’t be having to deal with _this_ kind of problem, too.”

Jed opened his mouth and then closed it again. Shit. Why _didn’t_ he?” “Well— he would’ve been back in an hour anyway, and you would’ve just waited for that if someone told you he was just in a trial. You wouldn’t even come into the woods alone, either,” he said. “Felix is practically glued to you. If I came up while you two were together, he would have _fainted_ or run back to the campfire with his tail between his legs.”

“Jed, why are you so _harsh_ on him?” Adam asked. “He wouldn’t do that. Stop talking about him like that.”

“Are you kidding me? He’s the human equivalent to a chicken!” he scoffed. “And he’s so _weak,_ if you just bumped into him he’d fold like a chair!”

“Come on now, don’t say that. You know it’s not true,” Adam replied, looking at him disapprovingly. “He can get stabbed and still keep going just like everyone else. You killers may be resilient, but that’s because of the Entity. Who’s to say you would be able to do the same?”

“It’s because it’s all just in a _trial_ , Adam, it isn’t _real,_ ” Jed groaned. “and if he and Dwight were to arm wrestle, I would be _all_ too happy to put my money on Dwight, and you _know_ that’s saying something.”

Adam got a funny look on his face. Jed realized it was because he was holding back laughter. “That… that actually has happened before.”

“ _What?_ Who won?” Jed asked, enraptured.

“Neither. Both of their faces were turning red, but they both couldn’t take the other down.”

That was infinitely funnier and far more pathetic. Jed loved it. “I’m going to need to see that for myself. My God.”

“Maybe someday you will. But we need to go back now, it’s been… a while.”

“Oh,” Jed said. “Yeah, that’s right. Okay, let’s go back.”

Jed felt on the verge of attacking someone when Ace came up to him. “Felix! Buddy!” he laughed. “What’re you still wearing those clothes for? And what took you so long, it’s been nearly half an hour since I asked you to try on that outfit!”

Jed looked at him, and Ace’s smile twitched off his face. He looked incredibly confused. “Sorry,” he deadpanned. “I ended up getting occupied.”

“Your voice,” Ace said, even more surprised. “it’s… a lot deeper, Felix.”

“He has a cold,” Adam hurriedly explained. “A very bad one.”

“You can get sick here?” Ace asked, looking like he really didn’t believe that.

“Apparently so,” Adam shrugged.

“... Hm. Well,” Ace smiled. “okay.”

Jed watched, mystified, as Ace crossed the clearing again back to the cop, whistling the whole way through. When he finally sat back down, Jed turned to Adam. “The Hell is his deal?”

“Who? Ace?” Adam gave him a puzzled look. “What’s wrong with Ace?”

“Old and weird,” Jed snorted. “Does he know or not?”

Adam’s face scrunched up. “Well… with him, I can’t really tell. But if he knows, I doubt that he’ll do anything about it.”

“Why would he not?” Jed frowned.

Adam sighed. “I’m not quite sure. Ace is just… like that.”

It was then that Jed could suddenly hear whispering. He turned his head to see Feng, Meg, Dwight, and Jake gathered together, sending suspicious looks his way. Even with the brats trying to keep their voices down, he could hear them all loud and clear. He wished he couldn’t.

“Don’t you guys think he looks… I don’t know, _different?_ Maybe greasier?” whispered Feng.

“Well maybe he’s just having it rough!” Dwight protested.

Jake raised a brow. “Why would he be having it rough?”

“Well… I don’t know. But he has been getting tunneled a lot by Ghostface lately, and… you know. That’s never that fun.” Jed sensed movement next to him and turned to see Adam giving him a disappointed look.

“Care to explain?”

He flushed.

“Hey.”

The two men turned to see Zarina with a hand on her hip glaring down at Jed, Yui by her side. Jed smiled at her again, albeit much tighter than before.

“Hello… Zarina.” he gritted.

“Hello, _Felix,_ ” she frowned back. Then glancing at Adam, “Hey, Adam. You been alright today?”

“Oh. Well, um… yes, I’ve been quite fine,” Adam replied nervously. “Why do you ask?”

“Just wanted to know is all,” Zarina nodded before turning back to Jed. “So Felix… Ace was saying you went into the woods to try on a new outfit, but it looks to me like you’re wearing the same thing as before.”

 _Fuck._ She was onto them. “I changed my mind is all,” he replied. “Decided against it.”

“Really? That’s a shame. You seemed very excited about it,” Zarina said coolly. “and your voice. It’s deeper.”

Jed coughed. “You know how colds are.”

Zarina folded her arms. “You can get colds here? Hasn’t happened before.”

“It’s happened now,” he said, feeling impatient. Then seeing Yui looking rather skeptical, nervous. “Maybe it’s something new from the Entity. I’ve only joined recently, after all.”

“Mmm. Maybe it is,” Zarina eyed his hair. “Seems like your hair is different, too. Nea pointed out your cologne being new as well, and I can smell it. She was right.”

“She was,” Jed said, laughing stiffly. “Is it that noticeable? Wow. And I just wanted to try out a new hairstyle. Same with the cologne.”

“Can a new hairstyle change your hairline?” Zarina frowned. Jed didn’t know what to say to that so he didn’t say anything.

“Zarina, that was a little much, don’t you think…?” Adam finally spoke up, looking very uncomfortable. “Maybe it’s just you, his… hairline looks the same as it always does to me.”

“Maybe so,” Zarina glanced at Yui and Yui glanced back. Both women looked at Jed again. “but you can’t help but notice his face looks different, right?”

“Yes. Very different,” Yui nodded, finally speaking up. Jed could feel his palms starting to sweat.

“I,” Jed swallowed. “I think you’re just seeing things. I’m the same Felix I always am.”

“Yes, the same Felix as always except for the voice, hair, and new perfume,” Yui replied. “It seems like you are trying a lot of different things today.”

“I am,” Jed grinned, heart thumping in his chest. He glanced back at Adam who was looking just as anxious as he felt. “What do, um, you think of it? Adam?”

“Huh? Oh, I, um… I like it!” Adam said quickly. “It’s new. New is always nice. I like that Felix is trying new things. I think it’s interesting.”

Neither women seemed convinced. “Mhm. New,” Zarina leaned in towards Jed and narrowed her eyes. “Almost like a new person.”

“Zarina, please—” Adam started.

“No, Adam,” Zarina replied, eyes still fixed on Jed’s. “If this were really Felix, he wouldn’t need you to defend him. Who are you? A new survivor?”

“Okay, Zarina, could you maybe… calm down? Please?” Jed laughed, backing up. “Besides, if I _were_ a new survivor, why would I feel the need to pretend to already _be_ one of you? That wouldn’t make any sense, now, would it?”

“You’re right… you wouldn’t feel the need to do that unless you were…,” Dread sunk into the pit of his stomach as realization dawned on her. “One of the killers. Yui, which killers have we not seen the faces of?”

Yui pursed her lips. “Most of them.”

“Okay, then what about killers that would be likely to fit Felix’s profile?” Zarina tried again, not ready to let go of this. “No disfigurations or visible alterations to their appearances. That means no one that’s abnormally tall or large, either. Just average size. Just like one of us.”

Yui considered that question. “The Legion.”

“But all of them are teenagers, and we’ve heard both of the boys’ voices before…,” Zarina contemplated. “They sound nothing like him.”

“Yes, and the leader has brown hair. The one in the skull mask is too tall, too…,” Yui mulled. “There is the Shape. He is blond, but he is too large.”

“Then that just leaves—”

“Uh, Zarina?” All four of them turned to look at Nea. She shook her head. “You should really just lay off of him for a bit."

Zarina looked astounded. “ _Lay off of him?_ Why?”

“Don’t you think he goes through enough already without this… weird interrogation thing?” Meg called from where she was now seated beside Nea. “Like c’mon, girl! He’s sick, gets tunneled by Ghostface every time they get into a match together, and he’s… uh… he’s…”

“He’s _what?_ ” Zarina asked. “What is he?”

“He’s white,” Jake said. Everyone stared at him. He frowned. “What? I’m right.”

“Yeah, Zarina, I think you might need to, uh… calm down,” Ace spoke up. “Don’t you think Felix has been through a little too much? He’s still new, too, and we don’t need to be adding to whatever he's going through. It’s over what’s probably nothing, too.”

Jed stared at him.

“Are you all— alright. _Fine._ I”ll leave him alone,” Zarina turned to Jed and jabbed her finger into his chest. “but just _know_ , whoever you are, you aren’t off the hook just yet. I don’t know _why_ you’re here or _why_ everyone is defending you, but I _do_ know you aren’t Felix, and I _will_ get to the bottom of this.”

In a strangled voice, Jed replied, “... Ja.”

When things had quieted down and everyone left the two of them alone, he turned to Adam and smiled. “I’m so fucked.”

“Really? What gave you that impression?” he replied sourly.

“How am I getting myself out of this?” Jed agonized. “I’m going to be burnt at fucking stake. It’s only a matter of time before they realize.”

Adam sighed and shook his head at him. Then his eyes widened and he tugged Jed’s sleeve. “Ah, uh. Jed.”

“ _What?_ ”

“I think if we want to go back into the forest to hide you, we should do that now.”

“What? Why?” Jed turned to see whatever the Hell it was that Adam was looking at and saw David burning back into existence at the campfire. Then Bill. Then Kate. And then… Jed gulped. “I see why.”

“Yes, let’s, um…,” Adam paused when Jed gently helped him up before taking him by the hand and booking it into the woods.

“... What was _their_ deal?” Nea frowned, staring after them. Meg patted her on the arm for her attention and she turned to look at her. “What?”

Nea followed her gaze to see her staring at Felix. Felix, in two shirts, a brown coat, and a pair of orange shades. Felix, coming back from a trial, and wearing what was most certainly not his blue suit.

Meg cleared her throat. “So, uh. I don’t think that it was Felix we were talking to.”

“It was Ghostface!” Zarina suddenly shouted, and then storming up to Felix, yanking him down. “Felix! Ghostface just fucking took Adam from us!”

Felix gawped at her. “He— _Ghostface?_ ”

“Ghostface,” Zarina repeated solemnly. Then her face hardened. “We need to go after them.”

“Why was he at our campfire?” Dwight asked, aghast. “Why did he— why did he take Adam? Oh God, what the Hell is he planning to do to him?”

“Who’re we talkin’ about, y’all?” Kate asked curiously.

“Ghostface,” Zarina repeated another time, grim. “and he took Adam.”

“GHOSTFACE TOOK ADAM?” Kate bellowed. She spun to Laurie. “Laurie, honey. Give me one of your knives. _Now._ ”

Within the minute, several of them had strapped themselves up with weapons and medkits before taking off after the two men into the woods. Ace snorted from where he sat next to Tapp. “Let’s hope the kids have fun with their Ghost hunt!” he remarked before placing down another card.

“You already knew?” Tapp asked, eying his deck.

“Yup. I’ve used that cold excuse for my voice changing, too,” Ace chuckled. “Figured something was up.”

“Why didn’t you tell them, then?” Tapp questioned, placing a card of his own down.

“Why didn’t you?”

Tapp glanced up at him before looking back at the deck. “If Adam was lying for him, it was probably for a good reason. You?”

Ace shrugged and smiled. “I like the drama.”

… 

“Where are you even running to?” Adam cried as Jed dragged him along. “Jed! Jed, slow _down!_ ”

“Like Hell I am!” Jed shot back, expensive shoes still pounding against the forest floor. His feet were fucking _killing_ him. How the Hell did Felix run in these? Daily? Was it from the _hardships_ of being rich and pretentious or some shit? “And I don’t know! I just— I don’t know!”

“Let go of my arm! Why did you even bring me with you?”

“Shut up! Just shut _up,_ Adam, Jesus Christ!” Jed shouted. “I just— I wasn’t thinking straight! And it doesn’t matter either way!”

“ _Jed!_ ” Jed finally came to a halt when Adam jerked him still. “Calm down!”

“I’m calm! I’m _very_ calm! Look! I’m calm! I’m calm. I’m… I’m calm,” Still breathing hard, Jed gazed back at Adam. He groaned. “I just fucked us both over _so_ hard.”

“Really? I wasn’t able to tell,” Adam replied with that same sour tone. “Just… just stay still for a moment. What are we _doing?_ ”

“Running,” Jed responded simply.

“And where is that even going to get us? You can’t leave, remember?”

“I… I don’t _know,_ ” Jed scowled, glaring up at the night sky. He took a deep breath and sighed. “I just— I couldn’t _stay_ there. If I did, I was fucked.”

“But why did you take _me?_ Did it not occur to you that this would only make things worse?” asked Adam, taking his hand as they slowly started walking again. “The others might just think you kidnapped me. Or were holding me hostage.”

Jed scoffed. “If I thought it through _that_ thoroughly, don’t you think I wouldn’t even be here to begin with?”

Adam sighed. “I see your point. You are a very impulsive man, aren’t you?”

“Maybe I am,” Jed replied, pacified. He glanced at their hands. He hadn’t expected Adam to do this. “Hey, are you going to—?”

“I will, but is this not what you want?”

God. Talk about wish-fulfillment. “Forget I asked. Where are we going now?”

Still walking, Adam peered at their surroundings before, for the second time that night, doing a double take. “We’re… we’re approaching the Red Forest.”

“Oh. I see,” Then, “Wait, we’re _what?_ ”

“Over there,” Adam pointed. “You can see that it’s raining. Those trees are the ones from its realm. I can recognize them even from here.”

“We’re… the Red Forest…,” Jed turned to Adam feeling sheer delight. “Adam!” he cried. “I’m free!”

“You’re— you’re free!” Adam repeated, looking rather happy himself. “How did… how did this even work?”

“Uh, I don’t really know. Maybe it’s another one of the Entity’s rules,” Jed thought of it for a moment before it came to him. “Aren’t you guys able to move freely between realms out here?”

“We… we are,” Adam said, coming to the same revelation. Newly enthused, he clasped Jed’s hands in his and looked into his eyes, excited. “Do you think it was because I was the one leading the way that you were able to leave? That has to be it, right?”

“I… I guess it was,” Jed admitted. “The other killers actually _can_ move between each other’s realms, but it’s usually just the ones that are… you know. Acquainted. Friends.”

“Really? Can you name any?” Adam asked, fascinated.

“Well, the Clown and the Nightmare for one,” he snorted. “And the Hillbilly and Cannibal share Coldwind even though I’m pretty sure none of those places belong to the Cannibal. I’ve seen the Hillbilly go into the Trapper’s, and sometimes the Wraith will visit the Nurse. A few others, too.”

“You’ve seen them… does that mean you’re able to go into each of their realms, too?”

“Yeah, but I think that might just be because I don’t really _have_ my own place,” grumbled Jed. “I guess the Entity is aware that muggy Florida apartments aren’t ideal hunting grounds. But the others have restrictions. There was this one time the Oni tried to get into Ormond but he wasn’t able to. It was funny watching him just stand there pounding on an invisible wall bellowing at the top of his lungs like an ape.”

“That’s odd… Do you think it might be a matter of _want?_ ” Adam asked. “because it seems like the killers can only go into each other’s realms if whoever owns it isn’t actually keeping them out.”

“Maybe it is. Might be why none of us can get in yours, either…,” Jed considered. His eyes brightened, and he grinned at Adam. “Aww, wait, did you want me to come to you? Come on, Adam, you could have just a—”

“No, but I _did_ want you to leave,” Adam shut down. He chuckled when Jed sighed in disappointment. “I’m not entirely sure _how_ you managed to break the Entity’s rules and get inside. It might have been a matter of it just making a simple mistake, but it also might have something to do with the fact you can go wherever you please.

“Or it could be both,” Jed offered. “Might be a safety measure, too. So that we don’t just come in and kill everyone endlessly. My knife got taken too, remember? Wait a second— my knife!” He reached into Felix’s pants pocket and was delighted to find it there, all snug and cozy if not missing a good sheath to hold it in. “My— my knife! It’s back! And Philly—” He felt around and was greatly disappointed to find that Philly was still missing. “... Well, maybe Philly’s going to be back in my usual clothes…”

“Your knife is back?” Adam repeated, looking a little unsure of how to feel about that.

“It is! Ohhh, it is…,” Jed grinned, turning back towards the campfire. “I’ll make sure that dour bitch Zarina regrets—” 

“ _No._ No, you won’t,” Adam interjected sharply.

“Oh, _come on,_ pleaaase?” Jed frowned. “Just this once. It’s not like it’s going to matter, you all come back anyway!”

“And you don’t need to make her suffer through anymore than what she already does. I’m not letting you hurt her, Jed. She’s my friend.”

Jed groaned. “Oh, _fiiiine._ Wait, can you get my clothes for me, too?”

Adam stared at him. “Your clothes?”

“I mean… yeah,” he said, rubbing his neck. “It wasn’t _that_ far from the campfire. I’m sure Felix would be able to show you where they are. Just meet me here again in a few hours and we’ll do an exchange.”

Adam still looked a little apprehensive. “Are… are you going to change in front of me?”

“Well how else am I supposed to get back in my clothes?” Jed frowned, a little offended that Adam was _that_ reluctant about seeing him change. “I’m not gonna prance around half-naked in the cold woods just so your boyfriend can get his stupid suit back early, are you kidding me?”

“I… I just…,” Adam sighed, giving up on protesting. "Alright."

“Okay, great! Oh, and Adam?”

“Yes, Jed?” When he grabbed him by the shoulders, Adam jolted, a little startled. “Jed, what are you—” 

Jed silenced him with a kiss. Not a _chaste_ kiss, but not one that went deep and slow, either. Jed pulled back and grinned at him. “You’re a fucking miracle worker. I won’t be getting publicly executed by that blonde bitch lunatic _anytime_ soon thanks to you. And— and you know what?” he exclaimed. “I’ll even leave Felix alone for you! And give you the hatch the next few times I have you! _That’s_ how grateful I’m feeling right now!”

“Wh— J-Jed, what the—?” Adam sputtered, face red. “Why would you— you _know_ I’m with—” 

Jed shushed him with a finger to the lips before pulling him into a hug. “Just let me have this. Just this once…,” he muttered. In the distance, he heard shouts and looked up to see a mob approaching. They didn’t look very happy, and— oh God, were they _armed?_ Jed pulled back and smiled radiantly another time. “Well, that’s my cue! See you in two hours, sweetheart, gotta scooch!”

“You have to _what?”_ Adam stood there, dumbfounded, as Jed gave him another kiss before turning tail and taking off towards the Red Forest, Felix’s blue suit and all, and then yelped as he was promptly tackled to the ground.

“Adam!” Meg cried, squeezing him. “You’re okay! Did that sleazeball hurt you? God, I _knew_ I shouldn't have trusted him when he smelled different, Felix would _never_ drop his standards that low!”

“Adam, are you hurt?” Claudette asked, rushing to his aid. “Oh God, Adam, I’m so sorry! Zarina explained everything, I had no idea that it was Ghostface! He, he just— he kept calling me 'Claudia' but I thought Felix just hit his head, I’m so sorry, I—”

“Adam! What the Hell were you doing with that creep?” Nea shouted. “You could’ve gotten hurt! If he was taking you hostage or some shit, we would’ve beat his ass! Who cares if he has a knife, we have way more from Laurie!”

“Adam!” Felix pushed his way past everyone and took him into his arms. “Meg, please, get _off_ of him— Adam! Oh my God, Adam, are you alright? What on Earth _happened_ while I was gone?”

Adam blinked owlishly at everyone’s concerned faces. “A… number of things,” he finally said. Before he could continue, Kate was in front of him.

“Adam!” she said. “What were you _doing_ with him? We were all so worried, I’ll— if he _hurt_ you,” Kate got a dangerous look in her eyes. “ohhh, if he hurt you, I’m going to make sure that son of a bitch regrets ever being _born._ ” 

“No, he didn’t hurt me, everyone…,” Adam sighed. “The most that happened to me was getting jumped on by Meg. I— I think it might bruise.”

“Sorry!” Meg called.

“I’m alright, Meg. I’m alright. I just—”

“Are you sure?” Felix asked, brow creased with worry as he held him. Adam noticed then that he was wearing his new outfit. A brown coat, a blue collared shirt, a white two, orange shades… He hoped nobody would notice him blushing. Felix looked quite good in it. “I swear, if that man hurt you—” 

“I’m okay, Felix. Really,” he smiled.

Felix slouched with relief. Adam couldn’t help but think he looked very similar to Jed doing that. “I’m… I was just worried. I was _so_ worried, Adam.”

“I know you were, Felix,” he said softly. “But, um… it’s a little uncomfortable out here. Are we going to be going back now or…?”

“Yes. We are,” Zarina announced striding up to stand next to Kate with Yui by her side. She eyed Adam. “and when we’re back, you’re going to have a lot of explaining to do.

Adam sighed and nodded, resigned. He knew he was going to be dealing with a lot more than just a bruise when they got back to the campfire.

**Author's Note:**

> these were the tweets i made that inspired me to write this; https://twitter.com/bbusybody/status/1327243137434202117
> 
> don't take zarina being made out to be the antagonist the wrong way, either! it's only because it's from jed's pov, she just isn't so easily fooled and wants to protect her friends <3 i love my girl. i love All of them.
> 
> hope you enjoyed, this was really fucking funny to write and very fun to work on :) if you liked any parts in particular or just the entire fic as a whole, feel free to comment! they always make me very happy and i love reading them <3 i'm considering writing a felixadam fic as well but that's going to require a hell of a lot more planning than this crackfic oneshot did, so stay tuned! have a good one


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